Fifty Shades of Easter Page 4
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Diamond had just entered the egg-decorating room when she noticed the group of goths at her and Charming Guy’s table. She did a slight double take, then smiled.
Daphne waved at her, and she waved back, then turned to the group of church members who were standing by the punch bowl.
“I wonder if you can help me,” she said. “I’m looking for the son of Reid Phillips—have you seen him today?”
The three of them—two middle aged men and a woman in a yellow flower-print dress—looked at her suspiciously.
“Why do you want to know?”
A red-shirted boy carrying a half-filled bowl of punch bustled past them. The new punch was noticeably redder than the old punch.
Agent Diamond’s phone buzzed, and she looked at the incoming text, then smiled.
“Hey Trevor,” she said, and the boy, now holding the old punch bowl that had a small amount of pale pink punch in it, jumped noticeably.
The punch bowl slipped out of his hands and dropped to the floor, smashing into pieces. Punch sprayed everywhere. The yellow-dressed woman shrieked, and several of the smaller children in the room began crying.
“Here, hold this,” she said, and handed her folder to one of the middle-aged men, then pulled out a set of handcuffs from her belt.
“You’re under arrest, Trevor Phillips,” she said, and the boy gaped at her.
“Nobody drink this new punch by the way,” she called out. “Nobody touch it until the police are here.”
There were gasps all through the room.
“I want more punch, daddy,” said an indistinct child’s voice.
“You’re joking!” the yellow-dressed woman gasped.
“Nope,” Diamond said, never taking her eyes off Trevor. “Now, Trevor, why don’t you come quietly?”
“You don’t look like a cop,” Trevor stammered. “H—how do I know you’re not some pervert?”
“Mommy,” another child piped up, “What’s a pervert?”
Diamond smiled, a very toothy smile.
“You’re right,” she said. “I’m not a cop. I’m merely holding you until the police get here.”
“Daddy I want punch!” cried the child’s voice.
“Shh, we will have juice at home,” a man said, soothingly. “Come on, let’s go.”
“You can’t do that,” Trevor said, and the yellow-dressed woman moved to stand between Diamond and Trevor.
“I won’t let you assault—” she began, and Diamond cut her off with an impatient noise.
“If you trust him so much,” Diamond said, one eyebrow quirking, “then go ahead and drink the punch. Give him some punch, too.”
“Why, what’s in the punch?” called Daphne.
“Dr. Suddenly’s Extra-Strength Cherry-Flavoured Laxatives,” said Charming Guy from the doorway.
“Nice of you to join me, Guy,” Diamond said dryly, without turning around.
“I don’t want to go home, I want eggs!” cried a small militant voice. “And I want punch!”
“The game is up,” Charming Guy said. “Now, kid, you can come quietly, or—”
Trevor grabbed a large shard of punch bowl from the floor and then grabbed the woman in yellow.
“Trevor, what—what are you—”
“Shut up!” Trevor snarled, interrupting her. Shocked, she fell silent.
“Trudy!” someone exclaimed.
Diamond’s expression became grim. She didn’t have her taser with her, and she doubted Charming Guy had brought his, either.
“You’ve no idea how hard it is to be a writer,” Trevor cried, holding the glass shard against Trudy’s wattled throat. “I keep trying to find the time, and he keeps dragging me to this place,” and the shard briefly left Trudy’s throat, “instead of letting me go to writer’s workshops where I can make the connections I need to succeed—”
As Trevor ranted, Daphne snuck up behind him and Trudy with a riding crop in one hand. Agent Diamond’s expression did not change until Daphne was perfectly in position, then she gave an imperceptible nod.
“And then there are all the writers who never respond to my Tweets,” Trevor raved, then—
“OW!”
Daphne’s riding crop had slashed him on the arm holding the glass shard, which he promptly dropped; Agent Diamond dove forward, pulled Trudy to one side, and then smashed her fist into Trevor’s nose.
Trevor promptly passed out.
Taso, Erika and Roger stood and clapped as Agent Diamond flipped Trevor over and put cuffs on him. Outside, there was the sound of a siren. A few other parents also began to clap, the remainder were shepherding their children out the door.
“We’re very sorry you had to see that,” Charming Guy said, walking into the room. “But things are under control now. Just no one touch that punch bowl.”
“Daddy, can I have punch now?” The small voice asked.
Charming Guy walked over to the child who had been asking so insistently for punch.
“I can make a fresh glass,” he said to the child’s father. “You can watch me if you like. The kitchen’s next door.”
“In fact,” Charming Guy said, turning to face the room, “I thought I saw some pitchers in the kitchen. I can bring in enough good punch for everyone that stays.”
Agent Diamond helped Trudy up from the floor where she had fallen. She was looking at Charming Guy and her face was now wreathed in dimply smiles.
“What would we have done without you?” she asked, ignoring Diamond and taking Charming Guy’s arm. “Here, let me show you to the kitchen.”
“I believe it’s across the hall,” Charming Guy began, but Trudy put a wrinkled finger to his lips.
“Yes, yes it is,” she said throatily, and Diamond watched as Guy let himself be led out of the room.
Poor Guy, she reflected. It never failed.
Diamond took a tissue from one pocket and began to brush punch and bits of glass from her clothing. Someone came over to stand in front of her, and she looked up to see Daphne.
“Been a while,” Daphne said.
Diamond smiled.
“I know,” she said.
“You’re always welcome back,” Daphne said.
“I know,” Diamond said.
Daphne bowed, took Diamond’s right hand and kissed it. Behind her, Taso, Erika and Roger had found a mop and rolls of paper towels and were mopping up the punchbowl mess. Daphne gave Agent Diamond one more long look, then took some towels and began to help.
“Don’t touch the new bowl,” Diamond said to them, indicating the laxative-laced punch, and Taso nodded. A small girl wandered up to him and pulled on his spiked hair as he swabbed the floor.
“Why are you dressed for Halloween?” she asked him, pointing at the monster image on his shirt.
Taso smiled at her. “I like Halloween,” he replied.
“Come along now, don’t bother the nice man,” a nervous mother said, pulling the girl away from Taso.
Yukiko came in the room.
“The police are here,” she said to Diamond, and Agent Diamond took the folder of evidence she had had one of the middle-aged men hold for her—he flinched as she approached to get it, which amused her mightily—and pulled out her phone.
“Oh, that punch looks delicious,” Yukiko said to Diamond, out of earshot of anyone else.
“Trevor made it,” Diamond said blandly.
A small baby began fussing on the other side of the room, and everyone’s attention was pulled that way.
Diamond pretended not to notice as Yukiko poured herself a glass of laxative-laced punch. She caught Daphne looking at Yukiko, her mouth opening to speak, and Diamond shook her head slightly. Daphne subsided, looking puzzled.
“Do you think you might want to catsit again?” Yukiko asked, draining her cup of punch, and Diamond smiled, brilliantly.
“Ask me again in about thirty minutes,” she said, and turned to talk to the police o
fficer that had stepped into the room.
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